Whoa, what happened? Is the NBA season already halfway over?  I was a little caught off guard when I started seeing ads on TV for the All-Star Game and dunk contest.  But I’m glad I saw them, because the Dunk Contest was the most entertaining it’s been in years.

Amare Stoudemire is some kind of superhuman.  If I was starting a clone army, he would be specimen No. 1.  At 6-10 and 245 pounds, this huge man can do some amazingly athletic things.  That dunk of his where he bounced the ball off the backboard and had it headed back to him in midair by teammate Steve Nash was simply amazing.  Serious points for creativity. 

And he didn’t even win.  Josh Smith was fantastic, bringing in new dunks while giving tribute to the old pros like Dominique Wilkins.  Good, stuff, Josh.  The dunk contest used to be a huge event to people I know.  Even guys who aren’t into the NBA on a regular basis tune in for that show.  It’s a real reminder that, from a purely athletic standpoint, it doesn’t get more impressive than the NBA. 

Also, having the NBA All-Star game and the NFL’s Pro Bowl so close to each other made me realize something I never would have thought I’d say – the NBA version is better.  Heresy, I know, but hear me out.  Basketball, especially at the NBA level, is much more of an individual’s game.  The All-Star squads don’t have to learn an offense like the football players do.  They can just run isolation sets and let the game’s biggest stars go one-on-one.  And turnovers, which are plentiful in any All-Star setting, lead to boggy defensive play in the NFL.  In basketball, though, turnovers often lead to fast breaks, where some of the most exciting action happens.  A well-run fast break ended with a thunderous dunk is a thing of beauty.  Watching Tedy Bruschi run around with an interception like he doesn’t know what he’s doing is not.

But the NBA festivities weren’t the only show going on.  NASCAR got off to its big start with the Daytona 500.  Say what you will about stock car racing, but a whole ton of people show up for those races.  I happened to be in Florida, and there were people from all over the country choking I-10 on their way to the race.

I’ve never actually been to a NASCAR race.  I’m not really into cars that much, and the snarling traffic of 160,000 people, mostly Southerners, turns me off.  Not that I have anything against Southerners – I am one – but I know that people who are going somewhere to watch cars drive fast and get into wrecks are prone to drive the same way themselves.  And many of them think it’s okay for guys to hang out all day without shirts on.  It’s not okay, though.  The last thing I want to see is a bunch of sunburned, overweight drunk guys yelling about how “Jr.’s gonna whip that Rainbow boy Gordon”.  No thanks, man.  I get my Dealings With Rednecks quota filled every day without having to venture anywhere near a racetrack.

But there are things about NASCAR that intrigue me, specifically the infield scene.  It’s basically a big camping trip where everybody has a weekend-long party that ends with 43 cars driving in circles around you at about 190 miles per hour.  I can certainly envision myself having fun sitting on top of a rented RV in a lawn chair, seeing how many Budweisers I can guzzle in a three-hour period.  The part about having the RV there gives you some separation from the whole seething mass of sweaty humanity, but it’s there when you want to dive in and mix it up.  And you’d be really surprised to see what NASCAR-type women react to the Gretchen Wilson songs “Redneck Woman” and “Here For The Party”.  Those are pretty much tailor-made NASCAR songs, and if you can’t get yourself into a little trouble with a boom box, a cooler and an RV at a NASCAR race, then you’re just not trying very hard.

It’s settled, then.  I’m going to investigate.  And in the spirit of my recently-departed hero Hunter S. Thompson, I’m going all in.  You’ll receive my full report at a later date.