I’m here this week to say something akin to baseball blasphemy: The ping of a metal bat is beautiful. Baseball purists, take a moment to catch your breath before reading further. Breathe deeply. Count to 10 slowly. I’m not knocking the wooden bat, or saying that metal bats are somehow superior to the ol’ Louisville Slugger. Just different. And different is not always a bad thing.
Most people only see college baseball once a year, when the College World Series rolls around in June. The proliferation of sports channels on TV has made it easier to catch the college game more often, but the average baseball fan is too busy watching Albert Pujols and Derek Jeter to trifle with amateur baseball. Accordingly, many people, even television commentators who work the College World Series every year, spend half of their time talking about how unnatural and weird the sound is from the ping of the bats.
This is despite the fact that just about everybody under 40 grew up using aluminum bats in Little League and high school, and nobody except pros use wood any more. Sure, the knock of wood on leather will live in the hearts of baseball fans forever, but make some room in there for the sharp ping of a well-struck College World Series dinger.
Those Omaha pings will start to happen soon now. The field is down to 16 teams now, and things are starting to shape up. The Average Joe got to catch some of the Oxford Regional last weekend, where Ole Miss trounced the field on the path to Omaha. It was a glorious weekend, full of sun and beer and some well-played college baseball. And the hot weather led to several short skirt sightings, which enhances the ballpark atmosphere exponentially.
Take That, Royals!
Francisco Cordero needs to take a class in Appropriate Taunting. The Rangers pitcher is in hot water for grabbing his crotch at the Royals’ dugout following the final out of Texas’ 8-1 Sunday victory. Cordero was mad because Royals manager Buddy Bell wanted him cautioned after Cordero hit Shane Costa on a 3-0 count late in the game, nearly causing a brawl.
I’m with Cordero on the retaliatory hit batsman, which came in response to Alfonso Soriano getting plunked. But parading around in front of the Royals dugout with a handful of package is just plain weak. Dude, it’s the freaking Royals! Maybe you give them a hard stare. Or a little flex. But you don’t walk over to the dugout and grab yourself after you bow up on the worst team in baseball.
As much flak as Randy Moss took for the Green Bay fake-mooning incident, I’m going to nominate him to teach the Appropriate Taunting class. Anybody who got into hysterics (that means you, Joe Buck) over Moss is just too up-tight for his own good. Here’s why it works. According to Indianapolis coach Tony Dungy, visiting teams get that treatment from Packers fans regularly, especially on the bus on the way out after the Packers have beaten them. Fans line the road and moon the bus. If you can’t take a mooning, which is an inherently ridiculous act, you need to chill out. Randy obviously knows how to give as good as he gets, and his moment of jubilation was entirely justified, having just scored on his bitter rival in the playoffs.
Lesson One that Randy would teach Cordero is that your taunt should be funny, and appropriate to the situation. Fake-mooning fans is funny. Putting Sharpie to football post-touchdown is funny, and is an awesome piece of memorabilia for the fan who got said football. Joe Horn’s cell-phone trick was clever. But Terrell Owens’ Cowboys Stadium midfield star stomp is not funny, it’s just mean-spirited. So is grabbing your package at the dugout.
And really, Francisco, a sense of scope is in order here. It’s really kind of embarrassing to need to taunt Kansas City. Really, it’s not that out-of-line for the manager to ask for a warning after you obviously retaliated. Just close the game down, and if you’re still miffed about it, maybe make a warning crack in the papers. Don’t go all ballistic.
