I’ve been bitten once again by the “failure to cover due to ridiculous circumstances” bug. It happens to everybody once in a while, but it’s gotten its hooks into me earlier than normal this year. The signs I’ve been getting from the football gods in this young season are not good ones. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about here. Your team is covering easily but gives up two touchdowns in mop-up time, or something along those lines. That’s a pretty run-of-the-mill way to lose a bet. Sometimes, though, you really get jobbed by a crazy coaching decision or terrible penalty call. I’ve already missed a win this year due to Bill Parcells’ super-conservative behavior during the Cowboys preseason Monday Night game against the Titans.

First off, I got my bet on the Cowboys in late, by which time the line had moved from –2.5 to 3. I was cursing myself for that bad piece of timing, but things looked good as Vinny Testaverde picked apart the Titans secondary. Soon, though, things began to turn sour as Eddie George showed once again that he can’t consistently get a yard in the preseason when needed. In the end, the Cowboys had two opportunities to get the extra points I needed to cover. Once, Parcells opted for a field goal from inside the 1-yard line, which was bad for me but somewhat understandable (if weak) from a coaching perspective.

The real doozy, though, came at the end of the game, with the Cowboys up three and running out the clock inside the Titans 30. When the drive stalled, as almost all clock-killing drives do, Parcells was faced with a very makeable field goal of 45 yards or less. Instead, ol’ Bill intentionally takes a delay of game call and punts. Thanks a million, Bill. It’s the freaking preseason, man. At the very least, give some young kicker trying to find a roster spot a chance at nailing a kick on TV so he can get noticed by somebody else. Do not, under any circumstances, punt from inside the 30. You’re killing me, Parcells.

That’s not the only bad failure-to-cover encounter I’ve had this season, either. Enter Exhibit B, Chris Rix and his Florida State teammates. Can somebody stop the bleeding and put this guy down? Rix is absolutely jinxed when it comes to playing Miami. Seriously, it’s almost criminal to lose to ANY team five times with the same quarterback, even if it is the uber-talented Hurricanes. You read that right, folks. Five times Mr. Rix has tasted bitter defeat at the hands of Miami. Never before and probably never again will that happen. So Friday Rix, through very little of his own doing, has his team poised to beat Miami for the first time this century, when the FSU kicker jinx comes into play. This time it’s a blocked field goal, and before you know it, the previously dominating Seminole defense is watching haplessly as Miami lays down its ridiculous comeback. The real finishing touch, though, is a bit of classic ineptitude by the FSU offense. Rix manages to take a sack in overtime and fumble a snap on the last play of the game. Bravo, buddy.

But it’s not all doom and gloom these days. You do get your occasional satisfying win, like the one I got with Troy beating Missouri outright. You know things are lined up right for you when your team shakes off a 14-0 deficit and gets a touchdown thanks to a fumble advancement by an offensive lineman. Talk about being in the right place in the right time. Big boy gets a perfect bounce of a fumble and never breaks stride as he takes it 60-something yards to the house, complete with the always-fun scene where a tiny defensive back tries to bring down a rumbling lineman. Fun times all around. I do have a question for any of you who watched that game: What in God’s name was going on in the stands during that game? ESPN kept panning to a section of the stadium where a big play by the Trojans would be met by a flag-waving party. Not just any flags, though. Included were the national flags of South Korea and Mexico! Big ones, too. What kind of deal is that? I’ve seen my fair share of crazy things inside football stadiums, but this is near the top in the WTF department. Whatever works for you, Troy, keep it up.

That’s all for this week, folks. Keep your bets on the right side and steer clear of any props that involve Peyton Manning not doing something awful against the Patriots.